Telemarketing for Hollywood Values III
Sure enough, that Feature Films for Families group lived up to its promise, calling me back “in three to six months.”
This time, though, they had a robot on the other line with a recorded voice (that sounded a lot like that of the guy who called a few months ago, as best I recall). It was kind of like a choose-your-own-adventure story, wherein an occasional leading question was used to gather a response and then the robot built the rest of its shpiel based on my responses.
“We’re happy that you agreed with the dove foundation that families need to take a more active role in valuable entertainment,” the robot began.
It then said that its records indicated that I was involved in the life of a child under 16 (showing improvement over previous calls, in which it wasn’t able to differentiate between my having kids and having a niece and nephew); how old are they, the machine wanted to know?
I gave my niece’s age: “3.”
The robot responds: “Sounds like you have your hands full…heheheheheh.” The robot laughed! As though it were trying to be spontaneous!
It then gave the same story about how it’s “unfortunate” that “family entertainment, even G-rated” is being corrupted by producers who don’t want to make films that lack dirty things, as they think such films won’t sell.
It then had another question, something along the lines of: “Don’t you agree that producers will choose to make movies without values in order to make more money?”
I thought for a moment, and responded: “Yes.”
“Yeah,” the robot responded, “, and unfortunately…letters and protests don’t influence them at all.”
The robot continued the script — saying at one point that it has “five million members,” which I guess means no substantial increase since November — and then asked the question, “Don’t you agree that it’s important that we have more value-building entertainment for children?”
I decided to test the robot at this point, and answered “No.”
There was a pause for a moment, and I thought I’d broken the machine.
Finally, the robot spoke: “OK, thank you for your time.”
Silence.
It’s kind of odd, since they’re only selling movies that have already been made, so a customer who doesn’t think we need more might be just as likely a customer of the stuff that exists.
Anyway, the telmarketing for Hollywood values presumably marches on.
April 7th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
I found your blog while researching my own call from Dove. I’m looking forward to my robot call in a few months.. I also found this during my web research and I thought you might be amused:
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Apparently Dove is being a little underhanded in their use of telemarketing.
June 24th, 2006 at 12:09 am
Heather: here is how to stop calls from the Dove Foundation. Remember, the Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon obtained a restraining order preventing the Dove Foundation of Grand Rapids, MI and Feature Films For Families, Inc. of Murray, Utah from calling residents of Missouri. If you get a call, tell the robot (interactive voice response system) “I demand that you do not call me again”. The second time you get the call, note the date and time, then go to the Michigan Attorney General’s website and file an electronic complaint against the Dove Foundation of Grand Rapids, Michigan, in the “Do Not Call” section.
July 7th, 2006 at 9:20 pm
I would be interested to know if the Dove foundation is a part of the Christain Entertainment “Dove Awards”. I also know that probably the most successful video series about the Bible was sold as “the most accurate animated account of the Bible ever produced”.
Hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue were generated through the Christian bookstores and CBA (Christain Booksellers Association which has its annual tradeshow every year in July) as well as direct response infommercials. That particular series was in fact produced by a Mormon company out of Utah. As you may know the Mormons claim to be Christian, while the Evangelicals and Catholics regard that religion as a “cult”.
The name “Feature Films for the Family” is no doubt playing on the similarity of “Focus on the Family” a very high profile Christian organization headed by Dr. James Dobson, that has been incredibly succesful as a ministry as well as producing it’s own DVD’s for Family entertainment. Perhaps if the digging continues the origins of the dreaded calls will unravel and you will be able to call them directly and stop the insanity!
July 11th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
The “Dove Awards” are awarded by the Gospel Music Association. They are not in Utah; their 2006 awards show was at the Grand Old Opry House in Nashville, TN.
The Dove Foundation of Grand Rapids, MI apparently also issues awards, but they are probably the same types of awards that the free weekly newspapers award to “Best Pizzaria in the Valley” and the like. A mutual admiration society.
As far as calling them directly, people who called the number on their CID were met with a sales pitch. With cheeky people like these, there is no money in breaking even. That is what we pay the attorney generals for.