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Who Wants a New Jewish Superhero?

If you haven’t been following the exceedingly comical new reality show, Who Wants To Be a Superhero?, you’re missing out on something special.
In particular, for those of a Jewish bent, the Iron Enforcer, with a chai earring the size of a baby’s fist, seems to be the latest coming of the Golem, at least as far as brainpower is concerned. Indeed, besides being pectorally-challenged, Iron Enforcer comes across as quite the dolt. In the first episode, you can see the the gears in his head churning as he explains his gun to his fellow wannabes, asserting it’s “the most high-tech weapon…[pause to think]…to date.”
Of course, where else would an ignoramus superhero Jew focus his energies other than Israel? After explaining how he’s the perfect killer, he tells his fellow competitors “after I leave this house, I’m off to the Middle East.”
And no momentary lapse into geopolitics, that. Check out the audition video at his character’s homepage:

I want all nations of the middle east to come together as one. Anyone – anyone – who comes in the way of peace will be annihilated by me.I want all nations of the middle east to come together as one. Anyone – anyone – who comes in the way of peace will be annihilated by me.
[…]
This here is the most powerful gun ever built…the Israeli army couldn’t make something like this.
[…]
If the peace process slows down in the middle east, I will stand there in the middle east at the end of my five-year run, and y’know what, if no one comes together for peace, it’s because they don’t deserve the land. And I will stand there and blow the place up to smithereens. If you can’t get along together, I will blow the land up.
[Interviewer: You’re a time bomb.]
I’m a time bomb.

Oh, yeah, that’s another thing: his character’s set to blow up in five years. He’s a suicide bomber for peace, without it necessarily being suicide, or peaceful.
So, seeing as our guy has already put himself on Stan Lee’s bad side, the only question is what it’ll actually take for him to get booted off the show. My bet: the elderly comics star leans over his desk, removes his spectacles, looks Iron Enforcer up and down, and declares: “Too Jewish.”

3 Responses to “Who Wants a New Jewish Superhero?”

  1. Krum Says:

    Best line:

    “I am half human, half machine…and half time bomb.”

  2. TedSez Says:

    Of course, Stan Lee (born Lieber) is a member of the tribe himself, as was every great American superhero creator (Siegel & Shuster, Bob Kane, Jack Kirby, etc.).

  3. Steven I. Weiss Says:

    Krum - Indeed.

    TedSez - Indeed, and that’s why — per Jackie Mason — only Stan Lee can say it.

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